Thứ Sáu, 23 tháng 10, 2009

The value of friendship

A: Introduction :
Have you ever imagined that if there is no friend in your life and how is your life? What will you do when you encounter with complicated and difficult problems? I’m sure that you will fell so sad if no one stands by to share and to help you. Even you will be failed painfully. You always find it so boring in life. There is a famous saying that “sorrow shared is sorrow halved and joy shared is joy doubled”. Our pleasures will be lost a half without friends share them. So, friendship plays an important role in our life.
* Outline for body and conclusion paragraph:
*Topic sentence : Friendship is very necessary for us in life. We can’t live without friend; also we can’t survive without water
+ when we meet trials and tribulations, friend is the first person stand by to help , to share and to comfort us.
+Friends are the same age as us. Therefore, we will find it easy to confide anything. Moreover, they can understand us more than anyone else. A good fried is a great source of consolations and comfort in our troubles
+The life with so many difficulties, challenges and complex things which we can’t solve them by ourselves. But if there are a lot, a lot of friends around us, they will give us much more strong, power to defeat them easily.
+There are also many choices which make us reluctant or can not decide something good to do. Maybe we will make a wrong decision. But if there is friend help to give us some right advice, we can select truly.
+wherever friends go with us or whenever we need a help so, we will never feel lonely or boring, or scared anything
* Conclusion: who has a friend is has a big treasure. So, we should keep what friends we have. We do not hurt our friend’s feeling. We live to help together and make this life more meaningful
B: SHORT ESSAY
Have you ever imagined that if there is no any friend in your life and how your life is? What will you do when you encounter with complicated and difficult problems? I’m sure that you can no succeed if no one stands by to share and help you. Even you will be failed painfully. You always find it boring in your life and want to give up everything. There is a famous saying that “sorrow shared is sorrow halved and joy shared is joy doubled”. Our pleasures will be lost a half without friends share them. So, friendship plays an important role in our life all the time.
Friendship is always necessary for our life all the ages. We can not live without friend; also we can not survive without water. As you know, when we are born until we become an adult, we usually meet trials and tribulations. To be successful, we have to make efforts and do its best. However, we will not be strong enough to do that. This means we need to have many people stand by to help us such as, our family, relatives, and friends. Among them, friends will be the most important person can help us. In fact, Friends are the same age as us. That is why we will find it easy to confide and share anything. And they can understand us more than anyone else. A good friend is a great source of consolations and comfort in our troubles. Moreover, the life with so many difficulties, challenges and complex things which we can’t solve them by ourselves. But if there are a lot of friends around us, they will give us much more strong, belief, confidence to defeat them easily. Sometimes, there are also many choices which make us reluctant or can not decide something good to do in life. Maybe we will make a wrong decision and it is not useful for us. But if there are friends help to give us some right advice, we can select truly. No matter what where we go what we do and when we need, our friend will appear in time to save us. Therefore, we will never fell lonely or scared anything. And friendship is a great source of encourages that can not lack in our life.
Who has a friend is has a big treasure. So, we should keep what friends we have. We do not hurt our friend’s feeling. We live to help together and make this life more meaningful.

3 nhận xét:

  1. * paragraph level:
    grammar: B, vocabulary:A, development:B,ideas:A, unity:A
    * essay level:
    + introductory paragraph:
    thesis statement: A,ways of developing:B
    + development: C
    you must add one more paragraph in body paragraph.

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  2. Grammar:A
    Vocabulary:A
    Development:B
    Ideas:A
    Unity, coherence:A
    Essay level
    Introductory paragraph: A+
    Thesis statement: A
    Ways of developing:B
    Development:B
    your body paragraph too long
    add more paragraph is better
    introductory paragraph is interesting, and creative

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  3. INTRODUCTION (2ms)
    - Background, hook 0.5
    - Thesis statement 1
    BODY (4.5ms)
    - Good ideas 2
    - Coherence, unity, development 1.5
    - Language: Grammar, vocabulary (0.5)
    CONCLUSION (2ms)
    - Summarize (1)
    - Lesson, suggestions (1)
    Total: 7.5

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